Things That Go "Bump" in the Dark

"Rolling Around In My Head" is a wonderful blog that I read almost daily. The author, Dave, is a big guy in a wheelchair, so in that sense we have a lot in common. He has been around the disability community as an educator and advocate long before he became disabled, and in that regard has much he can teach me. Today's post, however, reminded me of an incident that happened to me several months ago. I was stunned when it happened, and every time I think about it I find myself questioning whether I could have handled it differently.

Tom had dropped me and Joe off at the theatre. We got our tickets and snacks, headed in, and settled into the specifically marked off 'handicapped' area in the last row. There is a large empty spot where I can park my chair, next to several 'regular' seats so that I can sit with my companion(s). This particular theatre is fairly well designed to accommodate, and so far I've never had a problem there. I should also mention here that I have reflective tape on several parts of my wheelchair, so that I can be seen even in a dark theatre (although usually my size alone is enough to make sure that I'm rarely overlooked). Part way through the movie, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a man from nearer the front was making his way to the back exit. His path would take him directly behind my chair. I paid little attention, since people are often coming and going during a movie. Suddenly, I was violently jolted and immediately realized that the man had bumped into the back of my chair. He had walked directly into one of the hand grips that extend off the back...the ones completely wrapped in reflective tape. In spite of the combined weight of me and the chair, and the fact that it was locked in the 'off' position, I was actually shifted several inches to the right. He kept right on going, I wasn't too badly shaken, and I assumed that he was OK as well. End of story...or so I thought. A few minutes later, I sensed a face leaning over my shoulder from behind. I turned, and found myself looking directly into the face of the man who had run into my chair. For some completely unknown reason, I thought that he was perhaps going to apologize, or at least see if I was OK after such a jolt. Instead, I heard a growling voice say, "You damn near turned me into a soprano!" As I began to realize that my mouth was hanging open, he was gone. I totally lost the next 10 minutes of the movie, trying to figure out what had just happened. I was not moving, I was well marked, HE bumped into ME, and now he was angry at me. What's up with THAT??? To make matters worse, once the movie was over and people were filing out, I overheard part of a conversation between him and his companion. Since getting my chair, it's become my practice that when I attend a movie, I wait until nearly everyone else has left the theatre. That way, I can be sure of a clear path, and stand less of a chance of hitting anyone or running over any toes. I'm a patient person, and this works for me. However, in this case it worked against me. I heard him say "Right there in the wheelchair...yeah, that's her." I wanted desperately to have a few words with him, but the sea of people between us made it impossible. And as confrontational as I was feeling at that moment, I just couldn't bring myself to shout across the crowd.

As much as I hate to admit it, the incident spoiled the evening for me. I went home with very mixed emotions. Part of me was thinking "I'm so big and useless, I just always seem to be in the way no matter what I do." But the more rational side of me was angry. Angry that the man had been so rude, angry that I didn't have the opportunity to say anything to him, and angry that I have to face these idiotic challenges when I'm just trying to do something as simple as going to a movie. What should I have done? What could I have done? If anyone from the disabled community is reading this, I'd love your input. Have you ever been faced with something similar? How did you handle it?

I still go to movies, and nothing like this has happened since. But I still cringe, just a little, whenever I see someone heading towards me in a darkened theatre.